Have you ever found yourself staring at the ceiling in the middle of the night, your mind racing with worries about that big presentation, the looming deadline, or the difficult conversation you need to have with your team? If so, you’re not alone. As accomplished professionals, we’ve climbed the corporate ladder, ticked all the boxes, and yet… something feels off. We’ve achieved success, but at what cost? The constant pressure, the endless demands, the feeling that we’re always on the edge of dropping one of the many plates we’re spinning – it’s exhausting, isn’t it?
But what if I told you that the very thing keeping you up at night – fear – could be the key to unlocking your next level of growth and fulfilment?
The Gift of Fear: An Evolutionary Perspective
Let’s start by understanding why we feel fear in the first place. Fear isn’t just an inconvenient emotion; it’s a sophisticated survival mechanism honed by millions of years of evolution. As neuroscientist Joseph LeDoux explains in his book “The Emotional Brain,” fear is our brain’s way of keeping us safe from potential threats.
When we encounter something our brain perceives as dangerous, our amygdala – often called the brain’s fear centre – springs into action. It triggers a cascade of physiological responses: our heart rate increases, our breathing quickens, and our muscles tense up. This is the famous “fight or flight” response, and it’s been keeping our species alive for a very long time.
In the short term, this fear response can actually be quite beneficial in a business context. Think about it: have you ever found yourself laser-focused and incredibly productive right before a big deadline? That’s your fear response at work, sharpening your senses and giving you that extra boost of energy and concentration.
When Fear Overstays Its Welcome
But here’s the catch: while our ancient fear response is great for dealing with immediate, physical threats, it’s not so great at handling the complex, long-term stressors of modern professional life. As Dr. Robert Sapolsky points out in his fascinating book “Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers,” humans are unique in our ability to trigger the stress response through mere thoughts of potential threats.
This means that instead of experiencing brief bursts of fear followed by periods of calm (like a zebra running from a lion), we can get stuck in a constant state of low-grade stress. We worry about future presentations, replay awkward conversations in our heads, and fret about our performance reviews months in advance. Our bodies don’t know the difference between an actual threat and an imagined one, so they keep pumping out stress hormones, keeping us in a perpetual state of fight or flight.
Over time, this chronic stress can take a serious toll on our health and well-being. It can lead to burnout, anxiety, and even physical health problems. As high-achievers, we often pride ourselves on our ability to push through discomfort, but at what point does this become counterproductive?
Recognising Fear’s Sneaky Tactics
So how can we tell when fear has gone from a helpful nudge to a harmful hindrance? It’s not always obvious, but there are some tell-tale signs to watch out for.
Have you ever found yourself putting off an important task, even though you know it needs to be done? That’s fear masquerading as procrastination. Or maybe you’ve noticed yourself micromanaging your team, reluctant to delegate even though you’re swamped with work. That’s fear of losing control.
Perhaps you’ve been working longer and longer hours, telling yourself it’s because you’re dedicated, when really it’s because you’re afraid of not meeting impossibly high standards. Or maybe you find yourself avoiding necessary conflicts or difficult conversations, all in the name of “keeping the peace.”
These are all ways that fear can subtly influence our behaviour, often without us even realising it. The key is to start recognising these patterns in ourselves. Once we can identify when fear is at play, we can start to make more conscious choices about how to respond.
Reframing Fear: The Growth Perspective
But here’s where things get really interesting. What if we could shift our perspective on fear entirely? What if, instead of seeing it as something to be avoided or overcome, we could view it as a signpost pointing us toward growth and opportunity?
Carol Dweck, a Stanford psychologist and author of “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success,” talks about the power of adopting a growth mindset. People with a growth mindset believe that their abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work. They see challenges not as threats, but as opportunities to learn and improve.
From this perspective, fear isn’t something to run from – it’s something to lean into. When we feel afraid of taking on a new responsibility or stepping into a bigger role, it’s often because we’re pushing up against the edges of our comfort zone. And that’s exactly where growth happens.
The Neuroscience of Fear and Safety
To understand how we can work with our fear response more effectively, let’s dive into some fascinating neuroscience. Dr. Stephen Porges, in his groundbreaking work on Polyvagal Theory, gives us a new way of understanding our nervous system’s response to stress and safety.
According to Porges, we have three main states of nervous system activation:
1. The Ventral Vagal state, which is our ‘safe and social’ mode. This is where we feel calm, connected, and creative.
2. The Sympathetic state, which is our ‘fight or flight’ mode. This is where we feel alert, activated, and ready for action.
3. The Dorsal Vagal state, which is our ‘freeze’ mode. This is where we feel shut down, overwhelmed, and disconnected.
The key insight from Polyvagal Theory is that we can learn to regulate our nervous system, moving from states of fear and stress back to a state of safety and connection. This isn’t about eliminating fear altogether – remember, fear can be useful! – but about developing the ability to recognise when we’re in a fear state and consciously shift back to a state of calm and clarity.
Creating a Safe Environment for Growth
One of the most powerful ways we can work with fear is by creating environments that feel psychologically safe. This applies both to how we treat ourselves and how we lead our teams.
Amy Edmondson, a professor at Harvard Business School, has done extensive research on the concept of psychological safety in the workplace. Her work shows that teams that feel psychologically safe – meaning they feel comfortable taking risks and being vulnerable with each other – are more innovative, more productive, and better at learning from mistakes.
So how can we create this kind of environment? It starts with modelling vulnerability ourselves. When was the last time you admitted to your team that you didn’t have all the answers? Or shared a mistake you made and what you learned from it? These kinds of actions might feel scary (there’s that fear again!), but they send a powerful message that it’s okay to be imperfect, to take risks, and to learn from failure.
The Power of Play and Curiosity
Another powerful antidote to fear is play. This might sound counterintuitive – after all, shouldn’t we be serious about our work? But research suggests that play isn’t just for kids. Stuart Brown, a psychiatrist and founder of the National Institute for Play, argues that play is essential for problem-solving, creativity, and even survival.
When we’re in a state of play, we activate what neuroscientist Jaak Panksepp calls our ‘seeker’ system. This is the part of our brain associated with curiosity, excitement, and the joy of discovery. It’s a completely different state from the fear response, and it can be incredibly powerful for innovation and learning.
So how can we bring more play into our work lives? It could be as simple as approaching a challenge with a spirit of curiosity rather than fear. Instead of thinking “I have to get this right or else,” try asking “I wonder what would happen if…?” This small shift in mindset can open up new possibilities and reduce the grip of fear.
Practical Strategies for Dancing with Fear
So, how do we put all this into practice? Here are some strategies you can try:
Mindfulness meditation is a powerful tool for becoming more aware of our fear responses. Even just a few minutes a day of sitting quietly and observing your thoughts can help you recognise when fear is driving your behaviour.
Physical exercise is another great way to manage fear and stress. Remember, the fear response is fundamentally a physical state. By moving our bodies, we can help discharge some of that nervous energy and return to a state of calm.
Cognitive reframing is a technique from cognitive-behavioural therapy that can be very effective. When you notice a fear-based thought, try to reframe it in a more positive or growth-oriented way. For example, instead of “I’m afraid of failing,” try “I’m excited about the opportunity to learn and grow.”
And perhaps most importantly, don’t try to go it alone. Seeking support – whether from a mentor, a coach, or a trusted colleague – can provide invaluable perspective and emotional support as you learn to dance with your fears.
Embracing Fear: Your Path to Extraordinary Impact
As we conclude, I invite you to reflect on your own relationship with fear. How might your professional and personal life transform if you could harness the energy of fear and channel it towards growth and innovation?
Remember, the journey from fearful to fearless isn’t about eliminating fear – it’s about learning to dance with it, to use it as a compass pointing towards opportunity and personal development. As you begin to embrace this approach, you may find yourself not just managing fear, but truly thriving because of it.
If you’re ready to take the next step in your journey from fearful to fearless, Orthelian is here to support you. Our executive coaching, bespoke training programmes, and immersive experiences are designed to help you harness your fears and transform them into catalysts for growth. Whether you’re looking to enhance your leadership skills, rediscover your passion, or make a more significant impact in your field, we’re here to guide you. Why not reach out for a conversation? Together, we can explore how to unlock your full potential and create the extraordinary impact you’re capable of achieving.
If you would like to explore how we can support you, please book in a free, no obligation, discover call using the link below.
